I only have a 2 1/2 year old and sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.
Here's some advice from one of my aunties... unfortunately mine's a bit young to use these on, and I hope I wont have to (but I probably will!)
Close their bedroom doors. Tell them if they want to wallow in a pigsty, not to come crying to you when they can't find anything.
Tell them if they don't eat their veggies they will get malnutrition, scurvy, and other horrible diseases. Bring out pictures for them to look at.
And after that........ send them to a babysitter and have a day/night out for yourself.... get your hair and nails done, go to dinner with friends! Re-charge your batteries and do something for yourself for a change. Being a mother is the most important job you will ever have... but remember, you are not only a mother. You are a woman, a human being, you are a separate entity, not part of the furniture, and you need to look after YOU too!Am I missing something?? Where is the joy in parenting?
The joy comes when your 2 year old brings you a flower on his own and says, ';I love you Mumma!';
Other than small things like that and unconditional love I couldn't say.
Most days are exactly what you are describing. And I've only got one that can walk and talk! The other is just a baby.
But there is usually one moment in the day that is special and just brings it all down to the basics for me. There's usually something that my oldest does that is nice or considerate or just plain cute that makes my day.
Set up a routine for your family. When my daughter gets home from school, we sit down and play a board game. Then it's time for her to clean her room. She knows that the faster she gets that done, the more time she has to play before dinner. After dinner is more playtime for her, and then bathtime. Reading after bathtime is something that we both enjoy. If you have more than one child, schedule one bathing while you read or play with another.
Routines are great because it lets the child know that after playtime with mom, you go and clean your room. When mine knows that clean-up time is coming, she takes it much better and since she knows that after clean-up time there is playtime for her, she is more willing to do it without a fight.
Reminding her to pickup after herself in the living room is a constant thing, but I throw or give away everything that is in the living room after she goes to school. She's lost enough toys, shoes, and clothes to know that this is going to happen, so every morning I give her an extra 10 minutes to pick up (I still have to remind her), and most everything is picked up before she leaves.
Sunday is our family day. We get up and go to church, but there are limited chores. Just picking up in the living room for her, cooking an easy dinner for me, and taking out the trash for Dad. Other than that we are ';free'; to do the things that we love. There's usually a long walk or a board game for us as a family, and for my daughter...lots of playing with friends, on the computer, or just being loose. It's a break for all of us, and we really enjoy the time that we spend together (or apart!)
So, my advice is...set up a routine, and make sure you schedule some time as a family, some one on one time with each child during the week, and some time just to be ';free.';
Hang in there and keep up the good work!
the joy is in your child telling you thank you for being there, that they love you and they consider you the best mom or dad in the world. where a 5 year old will tell his friends that dad is the favorite super hero. where your daughter says that she is a princess cause her mommy is a queen. when your 25 yr old daughter tells her mother that she was a great mother and learned all the best things from her.
the joy is in hearing happy mothers day from your kids when the bring you underdone pancakes for breakfast and burned toast because they wanted to do something special for you. a son saying thanks dad for all that you have taught me. i wouldn't be where i am if it weren't for you.
the joy is a necklace made out of macaroni or those little handprints you just can't seem to clean off the walls cause your little baby won't be little for long....i could go on for hours....kids are just great. it's awesome to see things from their point of view. it makes you start to believe in all those things you thought you had grown out of....
Each parent has their own parenting style, you will find yours. What works for one may not work for another, just enjoy the kids now they will soon grow up and away.
Thank you for being the best you can be. you are awesome.
You are not alone.... I look back on what I could have done better, my kids say ';Dad you did just fine'; enjoy your rare personalities of your children.
lol good one.
Hon you're just going through the normal trials of being a parent. I think when they say '; the Joys of Parenting'; they mean those special moments that you have with your Kids . Like when one of them curls up next to you, and out of the blue says '; I love you Mommy'; , or the School Play you watched your child in. That kind of thing . Parenting isn't all joyfull, believe me . It's' getting to those special moments with your Kids that's joyful. So the next time you feel like pulling your hair out count to ten and remember those times . Believe me It helps.
You are missing your lack of discipline.I was the same way with my three.Actually only my two oldest.We started taking away their privileges.My youngest listens to us.Be Blessed!
Parents who compain about parenting are obviously parents who have not had to bury one of thier children. Stop complaining and be thankful everyday you still have them.
The joy my dear is hearing them say I love you, cuddling up on the couch with a book or for a movie. Hearing them giggle while they are playing. Overhearing their conversations and being in awe of their innocence. Watching their faces when they experience something new and wonderful. Watching them all grown up start a family of their own. Listening to the stories of what they thought they got away with growing up. I could go on forever, take a minute step back and enjoy. No one ever grew up to be an axe murderer because they had a dirty room and didn't eat their vegetables. Also finding out that they actually do respect you and did notice all the things you have done for them over the years.
Hang in there and be kind but firm. It gets better if you don't give up. If you don't already have some responsible adult friends with kids, find some. It helps to talk to others in the same situation.
I have 2 daughters, 3 and 1. It's HARD! To parent well, it's more work for the parents. I find the parenting part to be without joy as well. I enjoy the friendship and love with my girls, but the discipline sucks. Let me know if you find a good trick. I think most parents are muddling through, just like us.
first you shouldn't have to plead with them for anything be more firm with them so they behave themselves, if they start acting like proper children, then maybe you can enjoy more of the time with them...although at times all kids will fight or have a food they just dont like or even grip about their room but not all the time. now think the times they come home with a good grade, or they beat the video game there are so many little things you can find joy in all of those things that no one else would and why, because thats your child, you created that child like no one else could. and they love YOU. so when you are going thur the hard times and you will, dont forget all the good ones too.
the joy is already their you get to see your beautiful kids grow up.the should bring you joy no matter what they do or say.
No comments:
Post a Comment