Friday, November 25, 2011

Parenting questions please help?

I am having a hard time with my children. Mainly the 2 oldest who are 4 and 2. They don't listen and I need some ideas to get them to be good. If I spank them for being bad, its abuse. If I yell at them to keep them safe, its verbal abuse. If I let them do what ever they wanted, its neglect. I am in a bind. I have tried talking, and putting them in corners. I have also taken away tv time and the eldest tv. Any ideas?Parenting questions please help?
Children need structured time. Play time with them, dining time and instruction on how to act at table and then there's rest time with possibly a story. Maintain the schedule and only reward good behavior with hugs and kisses. Children get overtired then act out so naps are a must. Hope that helps.Parenting questions please help?
Spanking and yelling are not necessarily ';abuse';.





We don't spank for discipline in our family, but I know families who give their girls a little swat on the behind if they're being naughty. Notice, ';swat';. It's not hurting them until they're black and blue (that IS abuse). It's giving them a little ';ouch'; on their posterior.





Yelling at your kids is not always verbal abuse, either. If you swear at them and belittle them and call them names, then yes, it is abuse.





You need to calm down yourself first of all. What gets you the most aggravated about their behavior? Do you need to separate the 4 year old and the 2 year old if they get into mischief together? That's what I do when my two children misbehave together. One goes upstairs and the other stays downstairs.





You need to pick your battles. Otherwise, they're going to tune you out, if you yell at them for every little thing.





Have a three strikes and you're out plan.





Try time-outs. Find a quiet corner somewhere and put a chair there, or use a ';naughty step';. Somewhere where the children can go, when they have misbehaved.





Maybe you can have a family meeting and together write down good behaviors and bad behaviors and consequences for bad behaviors.





Also, remind them of safety issues, so you don't have to yell at them to remind them. Remember, sometimes if you yell, they will tune you out.





And I definitely agree with Stevie N regarding structured time.
Time outs work well with my 3 and 4 year old. They have to sit in time out for 1 minute for each year of their age. If they get up take them and sit them back down. Keep doing this until they stay there. Eventually, they will give up and stay in time out if you are consistent. Use a timer so they will know that they can get up when it goes off. With the 4 year old you could also try taking a favorite toy or video game. Let her know that she will not get it back until she listens to you and does as she is told. Always make sure you tell them what they are doing wrong. Discuss other options with them that they could have done that would be better.
Being a parent comes with Authority. you must discipline .who's in charge. kids need rules to follow. try a chart with prizes. don't give them anything let them earn rewards. get down to their level look them in their eyes tell them what they are doing wrong.don't yell at them. I don't recommend you spank them. time-out works. taking their favorite things away. It work for me. my son is 8 now I can give him a look and he knows what it mean. Patience, It will happen.
they always listen, so try talking less. say the things that are most important and really start listening to them. use the word NO less often and tuck your anger away cuz it doesn't benefit anyone in the family. turn the TV off and go outside more often.
Check out the Priceless Parenting online class - it provides wonderful ideas for setting firm yet loving limits with children without spanking or yelling.
Spanking isn't abuse and neither is yelling.


As long as you aren't hitting and making bruises its fine, and yelling all the time is too much.
put them in the corner and then put a gate up so they cant get out. or lock them in their room. you could give them no food until they say sorry
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