Saturday, August 21, 2010

';I am the result of bad parenting';, are you? Share your stories please.?

I don't want to hear words along the lines of ';you can still have a good life';





Bad parenting can really close-of many life options for their children. Bad parenting really do stuff up a child's psychology.';I am the result of bad parenting';, are you? Share your stories please.?
Im not, but my cousin is. Has never been disciplined in his life. He is 18 now. In the last 2 years he caught a suv on fire trying to 4-wheel in it, stolen his parents vehicles for joy rides, got in trouble for brandishing a bb gun, dropped out of school, had a preg scare with his gf, 4 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets. His moms idea of punishment is to yell, ground for 2 weeks but still let his best friend come over all weekend and sit in their room playing video games.





Well, last week he wrecked. It was the middle of the night, and he damaged property, not another car so he took off. Well the property owner had cameras and is pressing charges. His mom also just found that about a week ago her corporate credit card had been taken. She was doing her expense report and found all these charges that had been made around town for cigs and gas. He had the card for about a week. The bank is currently investigating and if they find it to be him, she has to press charges or she will loose her job. And I know once they are 18 you really cant control what they do, but when he wrecked he was driving on bald tires in the rain and his mom new the tires were bald. I am sorry, 18 or not, if that car is in my name and you are covered on my insurance that you have already jacked up, you are not driving that car on bald tires. I would have slashed them or something. Not here. She laughed and told him before he left to be careful.


Never been punished for a thing. Now he is likely going to loose his license perm, and between the hit and run and credit card, he may end up in jail.





Its mostly his fault. I mean, despite never being punished he knows its dangerous to drive on tires like that, and he knows that stealing that corp card could get her mom fired. Yet he did it anyways. And now he has to take responsibility. But he thinks its funny. He doesnt understand that this kind of legal trouble doesnt just go away with a slap on the wrist. He honestly doesnt think he is going to get legally punished. And ofcourse, his mom has hired a lawyer. She doesnt think the owners claim can stand up because she thinks they just identified the vehicle, not the tags (although, even if it was just the vehicle, it would be a good id, weird funky color and the bumper is missing) and she is trying to get him out of it. He seriously doesnt think the rules apply to him. He even told me that about a year ago. I was advising him against doing what he was about to do, something he wasnt allowed to do. He looked at me and said that he didnt care, its not like he was going to actually be in trouble anyways...





Sad sad sad sad';I am the result of bad parenting';, are you? Share your stories please.?
We can all use that excuse and blame our parents because our life is not going how we want it to and be VICTIMS. or we can choose and and make our life how we want it to be.


No education, then get some. Been badly treated, get over it and make a difference to someone elses life.


The POWER is with you, the responsibility for your life and your future is totally with you. Read, help those in worse situation than yourself, put the past in the past and learn from your parents mistakes. They are people too struggling with their life, doing the best they can with what they had.


There are many stories of people who have had terrible lives. no parents, country at war but they became like phoenix and rose from the ashes.


Blaming your parents or your situation is just a cop out. Look for all the wonderful things in your life and all the wonderful things your parents DID do for you, everyday is a new day and you are the creator of your day.
I had poor parenting. It can mess with you but really it is all about how you take it.





Each person handles things differently. And each ';abuse'; situation is different.





I do believe that you can have a good life. My life turned out great all the bad things that happened to be gave me a nice list of all the things I did not want in my life or my childs life.





I wont give all my details there is no need. My mother never wanted kids. My Father was in jail most of my childhood and I had many step dads most of which were on drugs or drank. Beat myself or my mother. My grandparents stepped in a took me and I stepped in and took my sister who is 9 yrs younger then me.
My mom and dad split when I was 1 yr old....which never bothered me, I grew up used to it, and now I am glad they arent together....


anyway my dad often admits to being a bad parent. I stayed summer and x-mas vacations with him, but he was always busy smoking pot with his friends, and playing music or video games, he often took me to my grandparents, which I loved.


My mom was also a partier, so I stayed with my grandma on that side as well.....which is great, she is one of the most wonderful people on this earth.


During an agument one day not too long ago my dad told me that I stood a chance to not be that great of a parent to my daughter because I didnt have the best parents and neither did he or my mom.


I am unsure if its true that its a trait passed down. I like to think not, of course I think I am a good parent. And the funny thing is, I didnt think they were bad parents either. Both a little selfish, but I was never abused by either of them as a child. Older now I do think I am emotionaly abused by my dad, but he doesnt see it that way.


Anyhow....I appreciate your question, it let me vent. :)
I wont go into all the terrible details. In short, I came from a terrible home. Both parents were very abusive, physically %26amp; verbally. My Dad was an alcoholic. My siblings %26amp; I were beat on a daily basis. We had to steal food many times because we weren't fed. I still to this day haven't been told by either parent ';I Love You';. They didn't hug us or show any affection.


The way I see it, you can either become it, or rise above it. I've chosen to rise above it.


Now that I'm a mother, I use my childhood as an example of everything my daughters childhood will not be. My parents mistakes makes it obvious to me what I should and should not do. My daughter is well cared for %26amp; knows without a doubt how much I love her -- I tell her countless times each day.





It's never easy to overcome that type of a childhood. And it's something you never forget. I guess all you can do is realize that it's not your fault that things were the way they were and do your best not to follow in their footsteps.


Best of luck to you.
yes my mum was the result of bad parenting,she was beaten as a child and still has the scars now!! shes turned it all around though and she doesnt have anything 2 do with my gramps





diane d......its not a cop out,its how it is!


she wasnt blaming any1 for anythin she was just asking a simple question!
Bad parenting does have affect on us. But as adults you have the freedom to overcome it and make life what you want it to be. IT'S CALLED FREE WILL. You have choices.


Just because it rained on your parade, doesn't mean you can't still dance with the clowns.

No comments:

Post a Comment