If you are against teenage parenting, why?

I am just wondering. I am not talking about teenage pregnancy. What is done is done, you can't change that. I'm talking about parenting. What are your experiences which feul the sterotype? Who have you ran into that makes it hard not to pass judgement? Please answer honestly.If you are against teenage parenting, why?
your right what is done is done and nothing can change it.I just think its wrong for a teenage girl to get pregnant because its like throwing half her life away and would be spending most of it taking care of the child. but its womens business not mine.If you are against teenage parenting, why?
I'm not sure I was mature enough to raise a child when I was a teenager, but I suppose some teens are. As long as they take their role as parent seriously, I am not against it. But if they place their own lives ahead of the babies'.... that's the kind of teenage parenting that makes me sad for the child.





Sidenote: If Evie is your real name, how do you like it? I am considering it as a girl's name, but I've never known an Evie.





Edit:


Thanks, Evie! Congratulations on grandparenthood. It seems as if you've done a good job yourself of raising your child, so hopefully he will learn from you and do as well. I am sorry I cannot provide any more insight -- I have never known a teen parent. Good luck!
Well, Mostly I have had experiences that were positive and the teenage parents have done a good job. It had a lot to do with their upbringing and support system. This was with a few of my co-workers.


My Sister-in-law was a pretty bad mom. She got pregnant at 17 and again at 19. When my brother met her,she was living off the state and her ex-boyfriend, driving a brand new car, jewelry, nice clothes, perfect hair and nails. Her kids dressed nice and had to look perfect, but she treated them like an accessory. She literally would put them to bed at 5:00 pm with dinner in their room and they were not allowed to leave until the next morning when she decided to get up(all of this was learned much later). She proceeded to have three more kids with my brother by the age of 23. She treated all of them like possessions. She ran off on my brother and left him with 5 kids, 100,000 dollars in debt and 5 bewildered children.


I see this a lot through my husbands work. He works for the state and has to try to help these lost little souls. The biggest problem he sees is teenage meth addicts who get pregnant and couldn't even tell you who the father is. It is a real problem growing in the US. a small portion of these teenage parents get straight and go on to raise their kids, but more often then not these meth babies are being put in foster care. I volunteer at some events my husband helps throw to bring awareness and I get to see some of these kiddos. It would break your heart. It sounds like your son has great family support! Keep educating him and supporting him. Sounds like your a great mom.
Teens go through a very selfish phase naturally and they aren't ready to devote themselves to children yet.








Okay, you want an example. My younger sister's friend dropped out of high school to get married and have babies, by age 18 she had two, and a third before she was twenty, but she was stillborn. The second child bumped her head, the mother didn't take her to a doctor, the bump was large and ';watery'; even a few days later and the child DIED. She died because her young mother didn't realize the bump warranted a trip to the ER.





Another friend of my sister's, same scenario, dropped out, married, had a baby. She was a devoted SAHM. When her daughter was 2 years old the mother hooked up with a neighbor, started using Meth and ran off with him, abandoning her child and husband. It's a very sad situation. We all thought she was such a great mom.
Well teenager marriages (which almost always occur from a teenage pregnancy) are more likely than adult marriages to end in divorce. So the child would be in a broken home. Teenagers that decide to parent their children often do not go to college and are unable to make a good living, putting the child into a poor financial situation. These are not stereotypes, they are real things that happen. There are situations where I think it is ok for the teens to raise the child, but I think in most cases it's best for the child and the parents to have the baby adopted.
As a nurse, I see many teen parents who do not put their child first.They have great clothes, jewelry, cell phone but no diapers or formula. Or they put things off. I had one mother come in the other day, wanting her two year old to be circumcised. She said she just never got around to it. There was one 16 year old mom who had a baby in the NICU fighting for his life. She purposely got pregnant again but still had no idea where she was going to live. It's things like that, that feed the stereotype.





Being that I was a teen mom myself, it is hard for me to not be judgment on some of these parents. I just want to scream sometimes... ';Grow up you have a baby now, I had to'; There are some wonderful teenage parents, however their are some bad ones. Of course there are bad parents at any age. However, our society seems to want to only look at the bad teenage parents. Not the good ones.
I have come across some amazing teenage and very young parents, and then some not so great adult parents. I believe that a great teenage parent comes from the support she is given by her family. Emotional support- not necessarily financial or ';take care of my kid'; support. The support to guide a young GIRL through pregnancy, delivery, and then PARENTHOOD in a short span of 9 months or less. Support from the schools that provide continued education while dealing with being a brand new teenage mom. I think what fuels a lot of stereotype and negativity is when the assumption that ALL teenage parents are on government assistance, the fathers are not involved, the grandparents raise the baby, and the mom drops out of school. These are all assumptions and stereotypes. You have to look at each teen mom as an individual case basis. I have several former students who turned out to be pretty good teen moms AND dads-and well, some that aren't all that great. What IS a fact which I find hard not to pass judgment is when mothers pop out kid after kid after kid by multiple fathers. These are the moms that have 3 kids by age 20 by 3 different fathers and my tax monies support them.
i guess its just that a teen has not experienced life enough to bring up a child correctly, and obviously a child is a lot of work and teens want to live their life.





but if theyre happy with the baby then im not against it.
What's done is done. Do the best you can where you are. I think most people 'look down' on teen parenting because teens do not have as much wisdom as adults just by experience. Raising kids will require great wisdom, patience, and the sacrifice of time, money and self. Most teens aren't prepared for that. Many are more focused on music, clothes, guys, etc. If you are a teen parent, I wish you the best. Your example is the biggest teacher.... make wise choices and teach your child to as well. Best wishes!
It is hard to be positive in your sons situation. My sister was a teen mom 2 times. At 17 you should be going to school trying to figure out what you are going to do the rest of your life not be worrying about a baby. Ugghhh! I also know others that had kids as teens and the kids end up growing up feeling rejected. What happens when your son wants to party or even the mom. You think you know your kid, maybe now you do but when he is an adult you will have no control over what he does with his life. The teen parents never had a chance to grow up and now to raise a child and be a role model. What kind of role model is the parent at the age of 17? The kid can't even vote.





If he is lucky you will be there to help provide a stable home, they need to go to parenting classes for teens. They have a challenge ahead of them. And if they planned on going to school, well maybe they can get a degree online.





I wish you and your child the best of luck! And your future grand child. I do know that my son whom is 9 has already been talked with an will be talked to more and more as he gets older about babies and sex. I don't want any grand kids until I am in my 60's that is 20 years from now.
I would say I am somewhat against teenage parenting. Obviously you cannot change what has happened. But most teenagers are not responsible enough to raise a child and generally put theirselves before that child. I am speaking from personal experience here. I had my son when I was 16. In the beginning I was quite a good mother. Then the ';honeymoon'; faze ended and I went back to being a wild teenager. Now I have realised the error in my ways and I do everything I can for my son.





Now, this is just my personal experience. I'm sure that there are teenagers out there that do the best they can for their child. I'm not passing judgement. I only know from my own personal experience.





I wish your son the best. It's not easy to give such a young man such a grown up role. However, I do think that it's admirable that he is stepping up to such a role when so many don't.
Personally the reason I am against teenage parenting is because a family should be Dad and Mom married and loving each other and then the children come after that. Teens are still growing and learning themselves. Yes, some can parent, but they can also do damage to them also. Maybe not physical, but mental and psychological damage. My brother and sister-in-law got pregnant when they were 18 and 17 and they were not married. They were given the choice of marriage or they were to break it off completely and my brother would still support the baby. They decided to get married and back then, 23 years ago, my sister-in-law had to leave school and finish at home. They have truly messed up their first child, she's been through counseling and she herself had a child out of wedlock at the age of 19. Teen parents tend to think they can still do everything they want and just drag the kid around with them. Children need to have routines, a regular bed time, meals at regular times, family time, baths, etc... and when your still just being a teen and expecting your child to grow up too fast it just doesn't work. My brother and sister-in-law have been separated 2 times and they did have a second child after 14 years, that child is a lot more adjusted, however, she feels like her older sister gets away with everything, because she always has. Her parents treated her like thier buddy or friend, instead of their child. No relationship is perfect, but if the basis starts out with 2 loving, mature, married parents it at least has a good foundation. Good luck
Oh goodness, lets see. Throughout HS we had girls with deadbeats for the father of their soon to be children. They wanted nothing to do with the girls, they didn't want anything to do with their child.





One of my very dear friends got pregnant toward the end of her Senior year, they had ';planned'; it and to get married and oh well...guess what, she got pregnant, and he decided he didn't want that anymore and left.





Then you get some of the girls who learned the welfare system will help take care of them and their children, oh yeah, and housing, not a problem, they milk the system. Believe me, I've seen it plenty of times and it's ticked me off each time.





By the way, good on your son and good on you! Having supportive parents and a son willing to step up to the plate...that is great!